The list of things I have forgotten~2

#4

These things that come back
construct my current reality.
They form a looking glass
from which I can view myself.
The way I see it, they are pieces
to a puzzle.
They appear in all entirety
and then leave
exposing the part of me
they've abandoned to the shadows.

They come and- one by one-
expose the shadows surrounding me.
Their absence forms the walls
of a deep, deep well.

Calling it a well isn't accurate.
At least when you're trapped in a well
you can see the light
-however distant- it is still there
and that is your hope.

I have no hope.

I have only shadows and missing pieces.


#5

I have forgotten what it was like
to feel satisfied.
To sit in silence contently
and drift into thought.
I. need. sound.
Music- to tell myself
I am not alone.
"You are not alone."
But most of the time

I am.

Sitting in a crowded class room
with 30+ students, "friends" and acquaintances  

and I am alone.

#6

Silence haunts me
but it is idleness
that taunts me.
I cannot stand to sit-
yet it is all I desire.
It is what I do.
I sit- and I think
and thinking leads to
 the pieces.
the holes and shadows.
Sometimes I think this is simply
because there is nothing.
nothing to satisfy me.

but sometimes I think
love has poisoned me.

#7


#7

Human beings are amazing
in the sense that we
are the only ones who love.
Family
Friends
its not an easy thing to do
but we all can do it.
yet still
there are so many lonley people in the world.

So I wonder..

what are we doing wrong?